I've figured it out.

If you thought my last video was weird, have a look at what my family was doing while I was away in Brazil. Honestly, we must be missing a chromosome or something.



Life's too short to take it too seriously.

Christmas Greetings from Brazil

8 Posts in 1

Yeah I'm back, fully connected to zero's and one's, back to my online habits and routines. If the world outside my Internet line is the real world, then flip my switch, turn me on, and boot me back in. Oh green matrix of mine, how doith I missith thee.

To apologize for being such a rotten virtual boyfriend, I figured I could make it up to you by posting some pictures of hot women.

No. That didn't work? Well....it made me happy anyway.

So back to Brazil....

I am happy report that I have successfully reintegrated myself into my old neighborhood. Vila Brandão is swiftly becoming "that thing that happened way back when", where I lost a bit of money dancing with some scumbags. Despite the fact that I have returned to a small hole in the wall apartment, with hardly enough space to store my things, I am much much happier.

I'm not going to say that moving to Vila B was a mistake. I learned a lot about the world in a short amount of time. But in the end, it was better to leave the rat nest to the rats. Let them feed of their dark energy and tumble into oblivion. I prefer my sunshine and a carefree Brazil.

So to feed my hungry public and make up for lost time, let me barrage you with a string of quick posts. My cannons are getting rusty, and its nigh time we lit the fuse.

Post #1

My new home! Small, noisy, over a bar. But kinda of cute in a O Pai O kind of sense. My place sits right off of Vila M, just a stones throw away from my hairdresser, my pharmacy, my restaurant, my bakery. I have returned to a world of convenience, and to a street that never sleeps. The only difficulty with living here is battling the noise at night. I fall asleep by putting ear plugs in, playing some music, and drugging myself if necessary. Even then, the occasional fight will break out downstairs, and I will crawl out of bed to watch the melee of cachaçeiros beating the shit out of each other. Good times

Along with the move, I have inherited a family of 8 children. My neighbor is crude animal of a man named Z, who doesn't know how to talk without yelling, and occasionally gets pissy and beats his wife. The place is a den of dysfunctionality, but I love the kids and have taken them in as my own. Not sure how it's genetically possible, but Z and his wife (who look worse for wear if you know what I mean) have created the cutest of children. Plus they have a puppy, and argh, god, breaks your little heart.

Post #2

I have become a sales man. I have turned in my non-profit tie for something a bit more flashy.
My work at Discover.Travel is become all consuming. I am working full, full, farkin full time,

and my world is becoming increasingly more routine and small. This month, I closed a huge trip and pulled in R$ 40,000. Sales are tough right now. The world is freaking out and no one wants to travel. I have to tip my hat to the few rich people who still have the money to do so. Without them, I'd be selling picole. So yeah.

Post # 3

You know you are in Brazil, when a fully accredited Catholic Priest comes to your work to bless the company. He arrived in his church attire. He had employees read passages from the bible. He sprinkled holy water on everyone, and I got some in my eye. It was pretty much the weirdest experience ever, and I'll have to devote a full post to it soon.

Post #4

I am training. I am busy busy busy busy. I am giving English classes after working all day. I am going to the gym and making my pecs bigger. I am hitting people with swords on the weekend. I feel like getting more tattoos. I wonder if my life is always going to be this busy, this strange. I wonder if I am a marginal, like a dirty sailor who is going to die with a lot of scars. Sometimes I feel like asking the world, do you think I'm weird? I already know the answer.

Post #5

I can't help but have a theme song. Every period of my life is defined by a style of music I was listening to at the time. In high school, I was an escapist, interested in parallel universes and avoiding reality. That was a Dead Can Dance era. I moved onto a full embrace of the human condition and started listening to Reggae. Now, I am a rocker, and feel like battling the world. I can't get this song out of my head:

It stays with me when I am fighting my way through traffic. What music defines you?

Post #6

Holy shit it's the end of the year. I have spent a year of my life in Brazil. This deserves to be marked, this requires a separate post. I shall gather my thoughts and get back to you.

Post #7

Ahhhhhh hahahahahahahahah! Don't make me throw another shoe at you.

Post #8

The Lions Den is back. Peace.

Without Internet to the 3rd

Sorry readers. I have moved for the third time this year and am without internet. It's always a radical experience in Bahia trying to convince technical people to show up and do their technical thing. But have no fear, the saga will continue shortly.