A Little Change In The Air

Inside you may hear it, that earthly drawl, a weightless noise of space being filled, the din of leaf hitting leaf on a summer breeze. In its unseen complexity, a myriad of spirals crashing through the air, a dandelion seed will move. Birthed into the sky off its perch, it dances, stirs, brimming with the possibility of its newfound life as it sails through the air.

It is on this wind that the promise of change is fulfilled. Old hard won familiarities die off, leaving room for the green of a new season, and the sowing of a fresh and brilliant pasture.

* * *

I remember when I first came to Colorado, I wanted an escape from structure. I was a good seven months out of school at that point, a good seven months away from early morning classes, lengthy history exams, and the strict bureaucratic obstacle course of higher education. After four plus years of being in the system, it was nice to get out and breathe a little fresh air.

Brazil was a bit of that. Colorado, even more so. Landing in my little mountain town, I wanted to create that which alluded my not so single self in college—a rich and expansive social scene, with friends and parties, and parties and friends. An endless parade of human connectivity.

Well. With a few smiles, and trials, and shaking of hands, this was accomplished. My circle of self-affirming popularity has grown, extending ever deeper into the tendrils of Capoeira, motorcycle groups, Latin panoramas, work friends, dance friends, and so on. New people and new faces continue to announce themselves, rapping on the door like old “visitors, well wishers, or distant relations”.

All and all, this thick and diverse environment has kept me happy. I enjoy the company of others and love to play Caesar in my own little Rome. But as time progresses, I begin to pang for other things. The type A side of my personality continues to show its face, and the ever so meaningful job of delivering groceries can only keep a Caesar smiling for so long. While I certainly have filled my time here with many fun and interesting experiences, it has begun to feel like not enough. While my social world is off the charts my professional energies remain unused and wasted. I find myself trapped in a small little box, an underling foot snare with little chance of an occupational future. Despite my efforts to use my degree, working for the National Trust, and the local museum, few steps forward have been taken. This leaves me with chalk in hand finally ready to draft a new plan, and take a proactive stance on furthering my education.

So back to structure it is. Being in the “real world” outside of academia, I have come to realize a few important things about myself and the format of it all. First, I have come to realize that I, above all else, am a true dabbler. I enjoy the diversity of the human condition, loving to touch and play with many things in my field of vision. Focusing on one thing – be it a hobby, a place, an activity – is just not my style. While I think that I am settling down a bit with age, I still prefer to grab hold of something, study it, then move on to the next thing.

This has led me to the conclusion that, if I was to return to school, I should study something that opens the range of my vocational possibilities rather than defining and therefore limiting them. If I was to go back to school for anthropology, for example, I would be in essence digging in. I would be spending lots of money on an education that only provides a handful of directions for me to head into. The box would be too small and so to my entrapment within it.

So, [cue drum roll please] I have finally decided to return to school and pursue a Masters in Business Administration. Now, before people cry “sell out”, let me explain myself properly. I have been working in the non-profit world for sometime now. While I enjoy many of its rough corners, I kind of came to an epiphany one day realizing that if I was to work for non-profits, I would never really make a profit. Genius, I know.

Now, I wouldn’t consider myself the most materialistically centered individual, but money indeed is a factor in my future. Sounds traditional, but I want to have a family one day, and be the major bread winner of it. I don’t like the idea of being supported by other people, as it’s not very appropriate for a Caesar to do so. Best, in my opinion, to find a way to join my skills and passions with a bit of profit making, to have my cake and eat it too where possible.

Does this mean giving up my undergraduate training and love for exploring people and culture. Hell no. I see this as quite an asset despite where I end up in the working world. This is why I have decided to try my luck at attaining an online MBA, through a local well accredited university, and to do so in my oh-so-favorite foreign environment. I have decided to pick up and move to Brazil for a time, maybe 6 months or a year as I start my schooling.

There has been a very small constituency who has chided this idea, saying that a Brazil move is impractical and would be full of distractions. While there is something to be said for this, I know myself and my limitations. And I know that with focus I can make this happen.

To do so could be beneficial for so many reasons. First, I could work toward attaining my Portuguese fluency. This has been a major life goal of mine for some time. I truly desire to make my connections with this country a big part of my life, and not just an occasional holiday. Living in Brazil would provide me with many opportunities to make connections, to make business contacts, perhaps even to attain citizenship. My current academic focus is the Tourism and Hospitality industry, the third most profitable industry in the world mind you. I am interested in international business as it relates to adventure and cultural/heritage travel. I can see myself opening up my own travel/tour business someday, or perhaps working for a specialized niche-travel or tourism company (I have been in contact with just such a company already, and am hoping to make progress with them as I go along). With a degree in business, undergraduate training in anthropology, and an English and Portuguese fluency, I would be highly marketable. It would be great to end up working for an American company doing business in Brazil, with an American salary. If the dollar doesn’t keep dropping (thanks you friggin monkey of a president!), I could live like a king down there. And while staying here to get my degree would be easier, the road less traveled has the potential to be more fruitful for me in the end.

And saints be praised, the ball has already started moving. I have been in contact with the business school professors, and we are considering a specialized international business track for me. I have three separate people looking for cheap housing for me in Salvador, where I would like to move. Studying and taking the GMAT comes next, then there is readying for my trip and ohhhh so much else.

All and all, I am already starting to enjoy the shift back into structure, the preparation of new challenges, and the excitement that comes with a glimpse into the unknown. Clearly, the winds have begun to pick up, the dandelions remain perched, and I can feel the air bristling with change.