Last night, I had a dream that I was running around some nameless Brazilian shopping mall. In the middle of the mall, there was a Volkswagen Beetle that customers could get in and sit inside. As I passed this shining symbol of the Brazilian automobile industry, a group of pimple faced teenage boys, who were sitting inside the car, starting leering at me and calling me “gringo”.
Gringo. What a derisive word. I have come to hate it even in a joking context, because it’s what people call me when they want to feel superior, when they want to steal, rob, or cheat me, and when they ultimately want to insist that I am not one of them.
In the dream, I grabbed the teenager and threw him out of the car. We eventually found ourselves outside the mall, running around parking lots and calling each other names. Eventually, I got a hold of his shirtsleeve and threw him into a line of traffic. He missed a semi-truck by just inches and I screamed. Carl Jung, unconscious world of symbols, repressed desires, call it what you will, that was my dream.
Truth: Sometimes it feels good to just fit in. If you ever travel to Brazil you may notice the strange phenomenon that everybody is wearing braces. In the States, braces are for the young, a sign of awkward adolescents, a torture device that parents force on their kids promising them a better future. When you first arrive down here it’s honestly hard not to laugh. People from 10 to 60 years old wear them—a kind of status symbol that says, “Hey look, I can afford better teeth!”
As a foreigner, it takes some getting used to. There’s something about watching your 40 year old boss try desperately to talk through his braces that makes it hard to take him seriously. Sometimes I feel like just nodding my head, screaming “No! Go to your room Mr. Bobby Mc. Boss!”, just to see what would happen.
Ok, but honestly, I started to consider braces a good idea. In the US they are about 5 grand a pop. Here, about $1000, if you go to a reputable place. I never had a chance to put them on in the States, because my parents were too poor and too aesthetically disinclined to consider them. Here, an adult can get away with wearing them and it’s often seen as a sign of beauty (think rap vids with guys showing their ghetto fabulous teeth).
So, without further adieu, after weeks of suffering the torture of getting these puppies installed, and sucking my food threw a straw, meet the new slightly more Brazilian Leo.
::shrugs::
What’s a gringo to do?
15 comments:
he he he he :)
you somehow DO look more brazilian. maybe.
How long do you have to have them on?
I thought about getting them when I was there too, but figured I'd be coming back to the US before the process was done. Good luck with flossing!
-Cheryl
Leo,
That is hilarious!
Perhaps these folks are a part of the new emerging Brazilian middle class...
Not bad!
hillarious :D
You keep your head up and be proud of who and what you are, and where you come from. That's what you do. And you ware the moniker of gringo like a 'red badge of courage', (a very good book). In fact, when someone calls you that, you correct them and say 'Isso e Americano gringo, obrigado'. Flip the script, if you will. And the kids that call you that are ignorant, they do not know any better. Low to if any education levels, self esteem, life ambitions and on and on.
You have been in salvador for so long you have forgotten how diverse Brasil is. I mean you can go to some parts of Brasil, and find blond hair blue eyed folks who speak German, and were born and rasied in Brasil! Salvador just happens to be well, 'chocolate city'. I was even called a 'maloco Baiano' because my portuguese was so bad a few of the locals thought I was just crazy. They could not get it in their head that a Black person, like them, had the warewithall to be able to afford to fly to Brasil and stay in a nice pousada. Now, we did later all laugh at this and they were very interested in my story of being a black man from and in the US.
Desenho de Deus is one cool ass song. It makes me think of the beach of Itapua, where the 'snoring rocks' look like they were formed by the hands of GOD.
Meditating huh? Cool. When I get to Salvador I'll teach you TM, Trancendental Meditatiom or TM. It's nothing fancy, just a form of effortless meditation. There was an ealier poster who teaches yoga. Why don't you contact her and let her show you the basic poses or strechtes of Hatha yoga for your back? You could learn all the poses in a afternoon, really.
Leo,
Take back the word gringo for yourself. When you "own" it, it won't bother you.
I don't care if people call me a gringo.... I just agree with them. I refer to myself as a gringo (after all, you know my email address).
Maybe I'm lucky - noone has ever used gringo in a derogatory fashion when speaking to / about me.
I'll never be baiano, let alone brasileiro, no matter how long I live here or how many brazilian habits I pick up.
Knowing what a laid back, chilled person you usually are, I'm sure that this is a temporary and minor abherration.
Hey that's so cool! I have been thinking about it too! I never felt shy about my unperfect teeth until I got here and everyone either had braces on or had great teeth. My brazilian dentist said that here they fix teeth, even on adults, while in the states they get filed down and capped. All right, you've encouraged me... maybe I'll just call up that orthodontist whose number has been sitting on my desk for months...
congratulations!
And for those of you not here to witness it, the first few days he had them on, he covered his mouth when he smiled or laughed, just like a teenager. ;)
Hahahahaha! Indeed I did.
...Another wonderful comment by Jazztech. Maybe you should start writing your own blog, né matey.
...Pedra! How is life back in the states? I know that you have given up the Brazilian blog, but I want to know whats going on.
...Roosh, my case is minor. I'll need to have them on for about a year and a half. But believe you me, PUA style and all, I am living proof that I can have braces and still get laid. Point.
...Greg, yeah I did the same when I first got here, embracing the word gringo and all, but now it just annoys me. Dunno, maybe I feel like I have earned some street cred.
...lovelydharma, I want to see pics when you get them in. Bjs
Interesting post, yo.
Starting with gringo, well, its never bothered me especially since I figured out it just means foreigner and not someone from a specific country. There's a couple possibilities behind the word, one being the US Army in Mexico and the Mexicans telling them 'green go home!" The other possibility is its a mangled form of greco or greek, being a common term to use when something is foreign. "How should I know? Its Greek to me!" And as Greg said, perhaps I'm lucky, its never been used negatively with me.
Everyone I meet here in the US who is Brazilian, they always want to know if I'm Brazilian because they hear me speaking Portuguese and I tell them yes, I'm from Goiania jokingly and later say I'm American and add "Tenho cara de gringo, não?"
As for braces...big step. I'm wondering at what point does one consider them? My teeth aren't shining examples of perfection but on the other hand, I wouldnt consider they need braces (mostly because I'm pretty much ignorant about braces). Do they sell the clear ones there?
Good that you mentioned braces by the way. I've always noticed that in Brazil but never spoken to anyone about it. Like when I was in Cartagena late last year and watched the townspeople walking into the neighboring barrio to work, a whole lot of them had a slight limp in their walk...and no, this isnt American gangster rap culture pervading Cartagena...perhaps some sort of genetic deficiency that spread over time.
Glad to see a long post again
I also heard these legands about the origin of the word "Gringo" - but then saw this: http://www.thegringotimes.com/about/
"Spanish, alteration of griego Greek, stranger, from Latin Graecus Greek
Date: 1849"
It's tough being a foreigner anywhere, but of being a Gringo in Rio has to be one of the better immigrant situations... especially once you get a tan.
I wish I could spell... legends
nice bracesss. haha - i thought it was funny too when i first got to brazil, but now seeing people wearing them has become more normal for me.
as for the gringo thing - it's funny because in the u.s. i nevered used it and started using it when i was here in brazil. my friend from college came to visit a few months ago and one thing he told me was that he hated that everyone called him a gringo and found it derogatory. i tried explaining it to him that it's not and people even called me a gringa, but after some research and seeing it truely is derrogatory, i've laid off on using the word and think if you just start telling people you're not a fan, it might stop over time!!
good luck with the new braces baiano ;-)
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