My three years here in Brazil have been a non-stop lesson in how a
government can waste your time; first with my own papers and now
in preperation for our exit visa. I hate to say that these kinds of situations
are the exception, but sadly they are the rule.
So, true story. Vivi finds out that the SEDEP department have an old version
of her name on file, despite the fact that she had the documents changed over
a year ago. Little snags like this can have big consequences, especially as we
try to gather our visa paper work under a deadline.
Here is how the day went:
Vivi: Good morning Sir. I need a letter of good conduct but my name
is written wrongly in your system.
SEDEP: You have to go to SSP department to correct it.
Vivi: But I called you this morning and you said I should come here.
SEDEP: Yeah, but they are responsible for that! It’s
on the next building. Then, you come back here and I’ll give you
your certificate.
Vivi: Thank you Sir.
(at SSP department…)
Vivi: Sir, I need to have my name corrected in your system.
SSP: Why?
Vivi: Because it’s written wrongly and I need a police certificate in my (real) name.
SSP: Ahhhh! Ok. Let me (try) to find your documents.
( 20 min. later)
SSP: Lady, was there a paternity recognition in your case?
Vivi: Sorry??????
SSP: We don’t have your father’s name in our archives.
Vivi: Sorry???? Well madam, I can’t see how it’s possible since my
father was the one who got my birth certificate.
SSP: Ahhhhh! Maybe we made some mistake…
Vivi: Really? (irony)
(20 min more…)
SSP: Here it is! You see? It didn’t take that long!
Vivi: No madam. (irony) Thank you so very much.
(…back to the SEDEP department)
Vivi: Hi, it’s me again. I think my name is correct now.
SEDEP: Ok! I’ll check…
(25 min later…)
SEDEP: Here it is. Take it to the “Cartorio” in
Barra (another neighborhood…) to have the signature recognized.
Vivi: All right! Hummm… I’m sorry sir but my name is spelled
wrongly. It’s Viviane ****** not ****. You forgot the S.
SEDEP: Ahhhh! Just a min…
(20 min later)
SEDEP: Here it is!
Vivi: Sir?
SEDEP: yes?
Vivi: I’m sorry but now my father’s name is wrong. His name
is Ari dos **** not Ari dos SANTOS. We have no SANTOS in our name.
SEDEP: Ahhhhh! I made a mistake again… Just a min…
(20 min later)
SEDEP: Here it is. I think now it’s correct!
Vivi: That’s great! I know my name is really complicated!
Thank you so very much.
2 comments:
Leo,
If you think this was bad, just wait until you start dealing with the so efficient ICE...UGH...don't even get me started...
The only worse was the Italian Consulate in Miami.
I have no doubt Brazilian Bureacratic culture was inherited from Italy...I am not familiar with Portugal, but it must be very similar if not worse.
The truth of the matter is that public workers don't care...they really could care less...it's like they have no boss and suffer no consequences from ineficiency.
I have to make an exception though, when Gil and I got married in Toronto, we were impressed by the speedy, friendly and efficient service, but then again, they are Canadians, they can't help it but be nice to you ;)
We should send all these morons to Canada for training...
Ray
Hahahah. I like your theory. But I’m starting to honestly believe that it is in their DNA, like some malfunctioning organization gene that originated somewhere in Europe (Italy being the most likely source). The only problem with this is that we can’t expect anything different from them. It’s like wanting my neighbors not to drink cheap beer, play pagoda at unreasonable volumes, or use the word “desgraça” at repeat intervals. Efficiency would simply be asking too much.
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